Government_Leadership_3

=**Attitude**=
 * Resolved: To Have a Positive Attitude in All Situations**

A person's thinking is more important than the actual event because the event happens only once, but when thought about, it remains in the person's heart and mind.

One should turn down the negative voice tellers and turn up the positive voice tellers. We can't eliminate either, but we can learn to turn each of them up or down. Winners are able to turn up the positive. Most people tend to turn up their negative voices. Whichever you turn up will define your attitude.

Positive and negative voices often get the same information, but respond differently. Read this humorous story: An avid positive-oriented duck hunter was in the market for a new bird dog. His search ended when he found a dog that could actually walk on water to retrieve a duck. Shocked by his find, he was sure that his negative-oriented friend would never believe him. He decided to try to break the news to his most pessimistic friend by inviting him on a duck hunt to witness his amazing dog firsthand. As they waited by the shore, a flock of ducks flew by. They fired, and a duck fell. The dog responded and jumped into the water. The dog, however, did not sink, but instead walked across the water to retrieve the duck, never getting more than his paws wet. The friend saw everything but did not say a single word. On the drive home, the hunter asked his friend, "Did you notice anything unusual about my new dog?" "I sure did," responded his friend, "He can't swim." Same situation, two different ways of looking at it.

Reframing is important. A person can change either the content or the context of a situation by reframing how he thinks about it - the voice doesn't change the facts, but changes how a person responds to the facts. In //Creators Syndicate//, author Mary Hunt shared a powerful example of reframing. She wrote: Years ago, my husband and I decided not to replace my car once the lease was up. The plan was that because we work together, we would share his car until we could pay cash for a second car. We figured that would take months or so. I hated the new arrangement and I felt as if I lost my freedom. I was not the most pleasant passenger. We'd been commuting about three months when I realized that it wasn't the situation that was intolerable, it was me. I was making myself miserable, not recognizing that the nicest guy in the world was willing to take me anywhere i wanted to go, anytime I wanted to go there. I was ungrateful and horribly self-centered. I needed an attitude change, and I needed it quickly. I decided to reframe my thinking because my situation wasn't going to change anytime soon. I decided rather than a pathetic dependent child, I would see myself as a woman of privilege. I had a driver! Every day, I am driven back and forth free to chat, read, write, think, knit, or nap. I don't have to pump gas in it, insure it, or register it. --- Same situation, two different ways of looking at it.

It's difficult and takes practice to turn down the negative voice and up the positive voice. Leaders always reframe. An example came in the 1984 presidential campaign. Ronald Reagan was seeking re-election against a much younger Walter Mondale. In the debates, Mondale brought up about Reagan's age. Reagan responded by saying "I will not make age an issue in this campaign. I am not going to exploit, for political purposes, my opponent's youth and inexperience." The issue was never brought up again!

It's important to learn to pull the negative weeds. When a person listens to their negative voice or another's it adds to negative thinking and produces "stinking thinking." Like real weeds, if they're allowed to grow, they become stronger, developing root systems in thinking patterns. Don't allow weeds to grow in your mouth or even worse, your heart. No one can plant weeds in a garden without the owner's permission - you control your thoughts. Radio, TV, Internet, friends, co-workers, family, and others often scatter seeds everywhere. Winners don't make the rules in life - they reapply the rules in their favor in order to win through positive thinking. Weeds grow easier than fruits and vegetables - negative thoughts grow faster than positive thoughts. Being around either will spread. If you're with negativity, then negative weeds will grow in your mind, mouth, and/or heart. Same holds with positive thinking.

Many times short-term perspectives don't show the long-term consequences. The following fable teaches this lesson. A farmer had only one horse. One day, his horse ran away. All the neighbors came by, saying, "I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset." The man just said, "We'll see." A few days later, his horse came back with 20 wild horses. The man and his son corralled all 21 horses. All the neighbors came by, saying, "Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!" The man just said, "We'll see." One of the wild horses kicked the man's only son breaking both his legs. All the neighbors came by, saying, "I'm so sorry. This is such bad news. You must be so upset." The man just said, "We'll see." The country went to war, and every able-bodied young man was drafted to fight. The war was terrible and killed every young man, but the farmer's son was spared since his broken legs prevented him from being drafted. All the neighbors came by, saying, "Congratulations! This is such good news. You must be so happy!" The man just said, "We'll see." --- Often times, current things happening to us seem to be turning against us when many times obstacles are blessings in disguise and we learn to persevere and become stronger. However, a negative voice can lead to quitting.

John Wooden's taught his teams a second set of principles - never whine, never complain, and never make excuses.
 * __Never whine__: When a person is whining, it's a sure sign that the negative voice was consulted. There may be temporary sympathy, but in the long-run, it's the negative voice. Such questions include "Why is this happening to me?" In reality, when the going gets tough, the tough become winners while the rest become whiners. A positive attitude simply isn't optional for success/leaders.
 * __Never complain__: Pointing the finger at someone else and away from one's self saying, "Why did they do it this way and make it so tough for me?" A complainer feels less responsible to fix his or her own problems. The negative voice turns into negative thoughts such as "I am not talented enough," which becomes a full grown negative weed. This is why many feel they will never be successful. It has less to do with ability and more to do with thinking. Attitude, not lack of talent, is the major reason for failures. By constantly listening to one's negative voice, failure becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to a life of complaining about bad luck. Basically, you have two choices - be better or be bitter.
 * __Never make excuses__: Self-deceived statements include "It's not my fault." It's easy to make excuses since excuses provide people with perceived justifications for remaining unchanged. People develop coping mechanisms of blaming, excuse making, and finger pointing. When having failed hundreds of times trying to create a light bulb, Thomas Edison said he successfully found hundreds of ways not to make a light bulb. Winners in any field experience failure. Sometimes we just need a check up from the neck up! Winston Churchill said, "Success is going from one failure to another with no loss in enthusiasm." Look at any top performer in any field whatsoever and you'll find that they refused to make excuses, literally seeking for ways to be responsible in any situation. This will explain why some people have wealth and success and others are envious or jealous as well as excuse-makers.

Developing a thankful spirit is also important. It's hard to have a negative voice if one views life through the lens of thankfulness. There's a story of a 92-year-old lady that demonstrates this. Her husband of 70 years had just passed away and she had to move to a nursing home since she would be unable to take care of their house. At the nursing home, she patiently waiting and when told her room was ready, she was smiling. On the elevator, the nursing home employee taking her to her room began to explain the room. She responded saying "I love it," like an 8-year-old child being presented with a new puppy. The worker said "Mrs. Jones, you haven't seen it yet." Then she said "That does not have anything to do with it," she gently replied, "Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like the room or not does not depend on how the furniture is arranged. It is how I arrange my mind. I have already decided to love it. It is a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice. I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or I can get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do work. Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I will focus on the new day and all the happy memories I have stored away...just for this time in my life." She certainly was listening with her positive voice.

The four-minute mile was something thought impossible. The quest goes back to the Ancient Greeks, who loved athletic competition. They saw the four-minute mile as __paideia__, or perfection. It was never done. In 1915, the mile record was 4:12.6 (4 minutes and 12.6 seconds) - still 12. 6 seconds away from the target set by the Greeks. In 1945, Gunder "the Wonder" Hagg ran the mile in 4:01.3 - just 1.3 seconds away, but this record would not be broken. Over 3,000 years of failure led to the negative voice reigning - "It can't be done."
 * Roger Bannister: Attitude and the Quest for the Four-Minute Mile:**

Enter, Roger Bannister, who saw it as a personal challenge. He trained alone, believing many coaches and managers held their runners back subconsciously with their limited beliefs and attitudes. By 1953, his time was 4:03.6. He continued to train. He also continued with the positive voice while everyone else had the negative voice. In 1954, he did what "could not be done." He ran the mile in 3:59.4 - he broke the impossible 4-minute mile. He listened to his positive voice. Breaking through limited beliefs is called "the Bannister Effect." Today, runners are always breaking the 4-minute mile, something that was seen as impossible for 3,000 years. Runners have even broken the 3:45 mark! It wasn't ability, it was attitude.

1. Why is it so easy to say you're going to have a positive attitude and yet it's so hard to do? 2. We all have two voices inside: a positive one and a negative one. While we can never make the negative go away, what are some things we can do to make sure the positive voice stays louder? 3. When did a negative attitude hurt you, and on the flip side, when did having a positive attitude help you? 4. Reframing is the art of telling yourself a different story - same circumstances - different outlook. How can you use reframing right now to improve a situation in your life? 5. What will you take away from this lesson and begin applying into your life?
 * Thinking Questions - Be Positive in All Situations:**

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